The “Un-Advisability” of an “Un-Divorce” Arrangement

Psychotherapist and Guest Contributor Donna F. Ferber sent me an email a month or so ago encouraging me to read Suzi Parker’s article about famous couples who chose, rather than going through a divorce, to simply live separate lives. Click here to read Ms. Parker’s article about a trend some people call an “un-divorce.”

We both agreed to attempt to fairly evaluate the “pros and cons” of this option: she from a psychological perspective and me from a legal perspective. Initially, Donna was much more open to the possible merits of this arrangement than I was. She made it clear that she was most interested in hopefully reaching and empowering people who are in unhappy marriages and who feel trapped by fear, ignorance, and the lack of financial and emotional resources. Donna and I continued to exchange numerous emails over the last six weeks about this “un-divorce” arrangement, discussing the relative merits of couples remaining married but living separate lives.… View Full Article → “The “Un-Advisability” of an “Un-Divorce” Arrangement”

The New Economics of Marriage: More Men Marrying Wealthier Women

In a recent analysis of census data, the Pew Research Center found that the institution of marriage has undergone significant changes in recent decades as women have outpaced men in education and earnings growth. The study examined American’s 30 to 44 years old, a stage of life when typical adults have completed their education, have gone to work and gotten married. “Men now are increasingly likely to marry wives with more education and income than they have, and the reverse is true for women,” said Paul Fucito, spokesman for the Pew Center. “In recent decades, with the rise of well-paid working wives, the economic gains of marriage have been a greater benefit for men.” Clearly, these unequal gains have been accompanied by gender role reversals in both the spousal characteristics and the economic benefits of marriage.

I personally enjoy reviewing statistics. For those that don’t, be sure at least to read my conclusion at the end of this piece, especially if you are a woman contemplating entering into a marriage.… View Full Article → “The New Economics of Marriage: More Men Marrying Wealthier Women”

Job is Lost! Now What Do I Do?

It is newsworthy that the State of Ohio has taken major “hits” in the job loss category and that our unemployment rate approaches 10%.  Recently, General Motors, aka Delphi, has closed most plants in Dayton causing a massive loss of jobs in the manufacturing sector.  Then, National Cash Register (NCR) announced the company was moving its headquarters and nearly fifteen hundred (1500) jobs to a suburb of Atlanta, Georgia.  The Dayton Daily News has reported that eleven (11) policemen are slated to “lose their jobs” due to budgetary constraints.  Also, businesses associated with supplying the auto industry with parts and services are feeling a financial “crunch” as their major or primary customer was General Motors, aka Delphi.

So, what is a parent (Father or Mother) to do when facing or experiencing a loss of employment?

Scenario #1:   Father is the Obligor (parent paying child support to the Mother/Obligee). He was employed by National Cash Register (NCR).  … View Full Article → “Job is Lost! Now What Do I Do?”

What About “Manimony”?

Perhaps it is time to forget the “I am a man and can take care of myself” attitude. Did you know that under Ohio law, the factors for alimony or spousal support are gender blind? Up until the 1980’s there were few men who received spousal support from their wives, but times and attitudes are slowly changing. As more men are granted custody of their children or become stay at home dads, the need for women to pay both child and spousal support has increased. But interestingly, statistics show that “thirty-three percent of higher-earning spouses are women, but fewer than four percent of alimony payers are women”, according to a CNN article on Manimony (a slang term for alimony paid to men). In today’s society many men still refuse to request spousal support even if their spouse earns much more money than they do. So it seems that the inequality in spousal support awards may have more to do with male machismo than any legal bias.… View Full Article → “What About “Manimony”?”

Factors The Court Considers In Determining Whether To Award Spousal Support Pt. 2

Attorney Anne Shale adds 10 more factors to consider in Part 2 of “Factors The Court Considers In Determining Whether Or Not To Award Spousal Support”.

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The duration of the marriage. The longer the duration of the marriage, the longer the potential spousal support obligation is likely to be. For example, if the marriage of the parties exceeds thirty (30) years in duration, the Court is likely to attempt to “equalize” the earnings or incomes of the parties. And, if the parties have been married just one to two years in duration, the Court is likely not to award any amount of spousal support. While I have represented Husbands who say they have tried to keep the “marriage together” for the sake of the children, this goal often comes back to haunt them when their Wives are awarded a lengthy duration of spousal support. In Montgomery County, Ohio, there is a very “general” and “unwritten” rule that spousal support may be awarded for up to one-third (1/3) of the duration of the marriage.… View Full Article → “Factors The Court Considers In Determining Whether To Award Spousal Support Pt. 2”

Factors The Court Considers In Determining Whether To Award Spousal Support Pt. 1

When discussing whether or not a Court will award spousal support, formerly known as alimony, to one of the parties in a divorce proceeding, we must first define what spousal support is. Section 3105.18 of the Ohio Revised Code defines “spousal support” as being “any payment or payments to be made to a spouse or former spouse, or to a third party for the benefit of a spouse or former spouse, that is both for sustenance (maintenance or means of livelihood) and for support of the spouse or former spouse.”

Webster’s New World Dictionary does not define “spousal support” but defines “alimony” as “money a court orders paid to a person by that person’s legally separated or divorced spouse”. While the Ohio Revised Code utilizes the term “spousal support” in Chapter 31 relative to Divorce, Annulment, and Dissolution of Marriage, the Internal Revenue Code governing the payment of federal income taxes continues to use the term “alimony” in lieu of the term “spousal support”.… View Full Article → “Factors The Court Considers In Determining Whether To Award Spousal Support Pt. 1”

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