Here Comes the Judge: A Little Insight for Your Child Custody and Divorce Case

By Robert "Chip" Mues   |   January 23rd, 2010

Michael Mastracci, an attorney from Baltimore, Maryland, publishes one of my favorite blogs, “Divorce Without Dishonor.” He is a huge proponent of utilizing the collaborative law model in divorce and custody matters whenever possible. He recently posted an excellent piece, with which I agree, well worth sharing. I have added a few of my own thoughts at the end.

When I was in law school one of the adjunct professors was a circuit court judge with years of experience presiding over cases involving dueling parents arguing about virtually every aspect of their children’s lives. His advice, probably the best advice in three years of law school, was to know your judge. His Honor was not speaking about knowing the judge personally (although that never hurts) but knowing what he or she is likely to do in any given situation or factual scenario. What does that mean?

People often tend to forget that judges are people, people who likely either knew the governor or knew people close to the governor in order to get appointed.… View Full Article → “Here Comes the Judge: A Little Insight for Your Child Custody and Divorce Case”

Fathers are Indeed Important!

By Robert "Chip" Mues   |   January 16th, 2010

A large body of research overwhelmingly suggests children do best when they have both a mother and a father involved in their lives. Specifically, children whose fathers participate in raising them do better in school, are less likely to get into trouble with the law, and are more likely to be better parents themselves. While more fathers are being awarded legal custody of their children, the statistics seem to indicate that the majority (between 75 and 85 percent) are awarded to mothers. Today, nearly 20 million children live in a home without a father (2002 U.S. Bureau of the Census). Recent Census Bureau child-custody statistics indicate that nearly 40% of non-custodial fathers have no access or visitation rights whatsoever with their children.  A very troubling statistic, indeed! Of those that do have visitation rights, what percentage are actually seeing their children regularly? The statistics in the studies vary greatly. But it seems clear that frequently the amount of contact the children have with their fathers diminishes over time.… View Full Article → “Fathers are Indeed Important!”

The Untimely and Unexpected Death of Chris Henry…Questions About the Consequences for His Survivors

By Anne Shale   |   January 2nd, 2010

Fans of football in general, but more particularly fans of the West Virginia University Mountaineers and the Cincinnati Bengals, mourn the untimely loss of Chris Henry on December 17, 2009.  He was just twenty-six (26) years of age.  Henry had a stellar career as a wide receiver at West Virginia University and was drafted by the Cincinnati Bengals in the third (3rd) round of the 2005 draft.  He had some notable off-the-field problems and at least five (5) legal-related incidents but was seemingly back on track with both his football career and life when he sustained an injury to his forearm in mid-season of 2009.  During the Cincinnati-Baltimore game, Chris sustained a fracture to his left forearm and was thereafter placed on the “injured reserve” list.

On the evening of Wednesday, December 16, 2009, there was an incident described as a “domestic dispute” involving Henry and his fiancé, Loleini Tonga.… View Full Article → “The Untimely and Unexpected Death of Chris Henry…Questions About the Consequences for His Survivors”

How To Dress For Court – Do’s And Don’ts

By Anne Shale   |   December 26th, 2009

The date for your “non-contested” divorce hearing or your dissolution hearing has been set.  What is the appropriate attire for Court?  First, it is most important to recognize that the two (2) hearings set forth in the first sentence indicate that the case has been “settled” or “resolved”.  Basically, this means that neither party will be testifying against one another and that neither party has a large stake or investment in the Court’s impression of either party.

FOR MEN: A nice pair of slacks and a dress shirt or golf shirt would be appropriate. A sports coat or suit may be worn but certainly is not required.  Shoes and socks should be worn as “flip flops” are prohibited.  Likewise, it may be ninety degrees (90°) in August and hot/humid, but shorts are not permitted to be worn in the Courtroom. Other prohibited articles of clothing include tank tops, tee shirts, shirts reflecting foul or vulgar language or politically incorrect language, and hats.… View Full Article → “How To Dress For Court – Do’s And Don’ts”

Strategies to Make Your Christmas Less Stressful

By Guest Contributor Donna F. Ferber, LPC, LADC   |   December 19th, 2009

If this is your first Christmas since the separation and divorce, the anticipation can fill you with sadness and trepidation. Here are some solid, easy tips to help make the holidays less painful and hopefully, maybe, even (surprisingly!) enjoyable!

Let go of traditions that no longer work for you. This is an opportunity to re-invent your holidays. Keep the traditions that you enjoy and get rid of the ones that you don’t. No one expects you to be on your best behavior during this time, so you can probably pull it off without anyone getting too upset.

Stick to your regular routine as closely as possible. Sleep, exercise, eat well and don’t skip those therapy appointments.

Don’t use money, alcohol, food, or sex to deal with pain and sadness. These indulgences will leave you poor, hung over, fat, and guilty on December 26th.

Don’t be afraid to do something different.… View Full Article → “Strategies to Make Your Christmas Less Stressful”

How Schools Should Work with Non-Residential Parents

By Robert "Chip" Mues   |   December 12th, 2009

Of course, it goes without saying that it is in the best interests of children when both parents are actively involved in their lives. Typically, children who have both parents raising them are more successful in many areas, including their academics. Unfortunately, due to divorce and circumstances such as parents living in different cities or states, one parent is excluded from involvement in their child’s school life. Often it seems that the father is the parent who does not feel needed or welcome in their child’s school world. Fathers are many times unaware of school happenings such as teacher-parent conferences, report card dates, or special events at the school. Research supports that when the non-resident father is even marginally involved in their child’s school life, the student is more likely to participate in extra-curricular activities, receive better grades, and enjoy school more.

Working with Non-Resident Fathers – A Guide for Educators of Children , a pamphlet published by Separated Parenting Access and Resource Center (SPARC), a non-profit organization dedicated to promoting the best interest of children in custody and divorce proceedings, is an excellent resource for the parent who feels out of the loop when it comes to their child’s school life.… View Full Article → “How Schools Should Work with Non-Residential Parents”

Stress of War Shatters More Marriages

By Robert "Chip" Mues   |   December 5th, 2009

The Pentagon reported the divorce rate among military members increased again in the past year and is now a full percentage point higher than it was around the time of the September 11, 2001, attacks.  According to their figures, the divorce rate of about 3.6 percent for fiscal year 2009 increased from the reported 2001 rate of 2.6 percent.  Women in uniform continued to have a much higher divorce rate than their male counterparts – 7.7% in 2009 compared with only 3% for men.  Air Force Maj. April Cunningham, a Defense Department spokeswoman, said the latest year-to-year change was relatively small because the services have made available programs focused on strengthening and enriching family bonds among couples.  “We believe these programs are instrumental in mitigating the stresses deployment places on marriages,” said Cunningham.

The actual data for the Afghanistan study indicated that the Army is trying to increase the number of mental health providers for the 68,000 US troops having problems such as acute stress, depression, and anxiety from the current number of 43 to roughly 103.  … View Full Article → “Stress of War Shatters More Marriages”

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