How To Dress For Court – Do’s And Don’ts

By Anne Shale   |   December 26th, 2009

The date for your “non-contested” divorce hearing or your dissolution hearing has been set.  What is the appropriate attire for Court?  First, it is most important to recognize that the two (2) hearings set forth in the first sentence indicate that the case has been “settled” or “resolved”.  Basically, this means that neither party will be testifying against one another and that neither party has a large stake or investment in the Court’s impression of either party.

FOR MEN: A nice pair of slacks and a dress shirt or golf shirt would be appropriate. A sports coat or suit may be worn but certainly is not required.  Shoes and socks should be worn as “flip flops” are prohibited.  Likewise, it may be ninety degrees (90°) in August and hot/humid, but shorts are not permitted to be worn in the Courtroom. Other prohibited articles of clothing include tank tops, tee shirts, shirts reflecting foul or vulgar language or politically incorrect language, and hats.… View Full Article → “How To Dress For Court – Do’s And Don’ts”

Strategies to Make Your Christmas Less Stressful

By Guest Contributor Donna F. Ferber, LPC, LADC   |   December 19th, 2009

If this is your first Christmas since the separation and divorce, the anticipation can fill you with sadness and trepidation. Here are some solid, easy tips to help make the holidays less painful and hopefully, maybe, even (surprisingly!) enjoyable!

Let go of traditions that no longer work for you. This is an opportunity to re-invent your holidays. Keep the traditions that you enjoy and get rid of the ones that you don’t. No one expects you to be on your best behavior during this time, so you can probably pull it off without anyone getting too upset.

Stick to your regular routine as closely as possible. Sleep, exercise, eat well and don’t skip those therapy appointments.

Don’t use money, alcohol, food, or sex to deal with pain and sadness. These indulgences will leave you poor, hung over, fat, and guilty on December 26th.

Don’t be afraid to do something different.… View Full Article → “Strategies to Make Your Christmas Less Stressful”

How Schools Should Work with Non-Residential Parents

By Robert "Chip" Mues   |   December 12th, 2009

Of course, it goes without saying that it is in the best interests of children when both parents are actively involved in their lives. Typically, children who have both parents raising them are more successful in many areas, including their academics. Unfortunately, due to divorce and circumstances such as parents living in different cities or states, one parent is excluded from involvement in their child’s school life. Often it seems that the father is the parent who does not feel needed or welcome in their child’s school world. Fathers are many times unaware of school happenings such as teacher-parent conferences, report card dates, or special events at the school. Research supports that when the non-resident father is even marginally involved in their child’s school life, the student is more likely to participate in extra-curricular activities, receive better grades, and enjoy school more.

Working with Non-Resident Fathers – A Guide for Educators of Children , a pamphlet published by Separated Parenting Access and Resource Center (SPARC), a non-profit organization dedicated to promoting the best interest of children in custody and divorce proceedings, is an excellent resource for the parent who feels out of the loop when it comes to their child’s school life.… View Full Article → “How Schools Should Work with Non-Residential Parents”

Stress of War Shatters More Marriages

By Robert "Chip" Mues   |   December 5th, 2009

The Pentagon reported the divorce rate among military members increased again in the past year and is now a full percentage point higher than it was around the time of the September 11, 2001, attacks.  According to their figures, the divorce rate of about 3.6 percent for fiscal year 2009 increased from the reported 2001 rate of 2.6 percent.  Women in uniform continued to have a much higher divorce rate than their male counterparts – 7.7% in 2009 compared with only 3% for men.  Air Force Maj. April Cunningham, a Defense Department spokeswoman, said the latest year-to-year change was relatively small because the services have made available programs focused on strengthening and enriching family bonds among couples.  “We believe these programs are instrumental in mitigating the stresses deployment places on marriages,” said Cunningham.

The actual data for the Afghanistan study indicated that the Army is trying to increase the number of mental health providers for the 68,000 US troops having problems such as acute stress, depression, and anxiety from the current number of 43 to roughly 103.  … View Full Article → “Stress of War Shatters More Marriages”

Looking to Build a Stronger Relationship?

By Robert "Chip" Mues   |   November 28th, 2009

Unlike many family law blogs which just share divorce information, we take a much broader view of “family law” and try to provide positive helpful information to readers about ways to help keep marriages together.  Clearly, marriage is an important public and social good, associated with a broad array of positive outcomes for adults, children, and the community as a whole. Divorce proceedings should never be initiated lightly! All relationships have “ups and downs” that can sometimes be very difficult to navigate.

Marriage Works! Ohio offers an extensive range of programs and services throughout Shelby, Miami, Montgomery, Greene, Butler and Warren counties. This collaborative effort of faith-based and community organizations, including Elizabeth’s New Life Center, has been operating for 3 years.  Recently, it was recognized by the Department of Health and Human Services as one of the 8 most promising programs for marriage education in the country! Their mission is to demonstrate ways to increase knowledge of basic relationship skills, communication skills, commitment to the relationship, and positive conflict resolution among adults and teenagers.  … View Full Article → “Looking to Build a Stronger Relationship?”

Your Thanksgiving Doesn’t have to be a Turkey!

By Robert "Chip" Mues   |   November 21st, 2009

Karen Armstrong, a human development extension agent with North Dakota State University, posted an excellent Thanksgiving piece two years ago. Her suggestions and insights bear repeating. Plus, I liked her Thanksgiving Quiz!  She was kind enough to allow me to republish it.

The holiday season can be stressful enough on its own. Families who have changed the make up of their household because of divorce or marriage since last year have some new challenges. If this describes your family, watch your children for signs of stress this season. Often times the shopping and decorating is too much for them. Encourage your children to talk about what they are feeling and keep those lines of communication open so they can approach you when they need to.

Because of the holidays, you may feel that you and your children are supposed to be happy, but allow time to deal with the adjustments. For example, it’s normal and healthy for children to miss the other parent; acknowledge their feelings and let them know it’s okay.… View Full Article → “Your Thanksgiving Doesn’t have to be a Turkey!”

Planning Parenting Time for the Holidays – Tips to Follow

By Anne Shale   |   November 14th, 2009

As we are now into the month of November, it is not too early for divorced and divorcing parents to look ahead to the upcoming Christmas Holiday.  Here are some “tips” regarding the “nuts and bolts” of handling the Christmas holiday season.

  1. Read and examine the Parenting Time Schedule for your particular County which should be attached as part of your Final Decree or Court Judgment.  The Domestic Relations Court and Juvenile Court of each County have differing schedules. If your parenting time schedule has been lost or misplaced, you can obtain a replacement from your attorney’s office or the clerk where your order was filed.For example, Montgomery County, Ohio, has the following provision as to the Christmas Break:

    In all even-numbered years, the Mother shall have the children from 9:00 a.m. the day after school recesses (or 9:00 a.m. on December 20 if the children are not in school), until 9:00 p.m.

… View Full Article → “Planning Parenting Time for the Holidays – Tips to Follow”
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