New Year’s Resolutions During Divorce, Setting Healthy Goals After Separation
PUBLISHER’S NOTE – This blog was written by Attorney Rachel Recker who has clerked with MuesLaw for the last seven months while attending the law school at the University of Dayton. She did a great job! I appreciate these observations from working in a law firm focusing on collaborative divorce. Rachel has “flown the coop” from MuesLaw and will soon be starting her career as an attorney with the Law Office of Emily Feliz Garcia in Springdale! We will all miss you, Rachel. Please stay in touch!
Why New Year’s Resolutions During Divorce Can Be Especially Challenging
With January being the start of divorce season, New Year’s resolutions during divorce can feel especially challenging as personal goals and legal decisions begin to overlap. One may think “After this divorce, I am going to get my finances back together!” or “Once the separation is finalized, I am going to finally take time for myself!”
When stating resolutions and setting goals to reach them, it may be difficult to know where to start. We have created a list of tips on how to create resolutions that last during and after a divorce or separation.
How to Set Good Goals When Making New Year’s Resolutions During Divorce
- Be Precise. State the goal that you want to achieve and be specific about how you are going to achieve it. If your resolution is to take time to care for yourself, set goals like “sleep 7-9 hours each night” and “visit the spa once a month”.
At the start of 2025, many of my friends made a resolution to work on themselves. They achieved this by setting a goal of having a “hot girl walk” several days a week. “Hot girl walks” are walks where you think about things you’re grateful for, how to achieve your goals, etc. Some even listen to podcasts or music that help boost one’s confidence. Whatever your resolutions may be, set precise goals on how to achieve them.
- Be Realistic. Of course, your goals should not be too easy, otherwise you will not achieve the objective set out in your resolution. However, you do not want to set goals that are too difficult to achieve. When your goals are unrealistic you are likely to give up on your resolution. If going to the gym five days a week seems too difficult with your schedule, start with three days a week. This can allow you to accomplish your goals without making the resolution seem impossible to pull off.
- Be Balanced. Balance is the key to many parts of life, so much so that it has become a major part of our vocabulary: balanced diet, balanced budget, work-life balance – the list goes on. A healthy balance is also important when creating goals. If you spend all of your time and energy in one area, such as work, you will get burnt out. Set goals in multiple areas of your life, such as work, health, finances, and relationships.
- Be Kind to Yourself. Accept your failures and learn from them. Celebrate your successes! Check in with yourself: What is working? What can I work on? Check in with others. If you are having difficulty with your relationship goals, seek advice from counselors. If you are struggling at the gym, ask a trainer for help. My personal favorite is to check in with people who want to achieve similar goals. This helps me to remain accountable and share struggles with people who can relate to me.
When creating New Year’s resolutions during divorce, it is important to remember that progress may look different than it did before separation.
How to be a Good Client
- Be Kind. It is important to be kind to all parties when involved in a divorce, dissolution, or legal separation. Be kind toward your attorney and their staff. While the process can be highly stressful and is not always as quick as clients would like, attorneys generally do all that they can to help their clients. Lawyers do not write the laws or set the court’s schedule. While you can share your frustrations with your attorney or their staff, be sure not to take your feelings out on them. Clients navigating New Year’s resolutions during divorce often benefit most when they approach the legal process with honesty, patience, and realistic expectations.
One should also be kind to their spouse and children, if they have any. The court does not appreciate when one party talks bad about the other to any children in the case. Similarly, do not take actions to “get even” with your ex. It may seem fair to take their name off of your benefits or to spend as much during the divorce as your partner has cost you. However, these actions are not favored by the court and may actually be a violation of court orders included in the divorce process.
- Be Honest. Your attorney is there to help, not to judge. The last place you want to be surprised is in a courtroom or legal proceeding. Help your attorney to be prepared for any circumstance by being forthcoming and providing necessary information in a timely manner.
Your lawyer will return the favor by being honest and realistic with you. If you feel unsure, you are always welcome to get a second opinion. Although you may not always like the hard truths that you hear from your attorney, they have your best interests in mind. Picking a seasoned divorce attorney is crucial. He or she will have the experience to know what to expect in a divorce.
Whether you are setting New Year’s resolutions during divorce or planning goals for life after separation, having experienced legal guidance can make the process more manageable and less stressful.
MuesLaw Provides Experienced, Trusted and Professional Advice if You Are Considering Ending Your Marriage.
MuesLaw can assist you with your divorce, dissolution and parenting/custody related issues. To learn more, please go to our website at mueslaw.com or call us at (937) 293-2141. We can schedule an in-person conference or one by phone or Zoom. We look forward to assisting you!
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Attorney Rachel Recker graduated from the University of Dayton School of Law and was was sworn in as an attorney on November 17, 2025. She had previously worked as a Law Clerk for The MuesLaw Firm in Centerville, Ohio.
