Location of Military Service Records and How to Obtain Them

One of my all time favorite family law blogs is Updates in Michigan Family Law written by Attorney Jeanne M. Hannah. I read her posts every week even though thinking about Michigan gives me a twinge of pain as a “Buckeye”.  Nonetheless, her posts are always informative and excellent! She recently posted on a topic that I felt would be of interest to our readers, especially since our law office is only a few miles from Wright-Patterson Air Force Base. With Jeanne’s kind permission, I have republished her article below.

There are times when, in a family law case, it is important to have the military personnel records of a service member. Some records from personnel files are available and stored in various locations; some records are of a medial or mental health issue. Those are kept in other locations. Some of those may be unavailable.

Most veteran’s records are stored at the National Archives and Records Administration’s National Personnel Records Center, Military Personnel Records (NPRC-MPR).… View Full Article → “Location of Military Service Records and How to Obtain Them”

The Importance of Financial Planners for Clients Facing Divorce or Dissolution

I generally begin my articles for our Family Blog Web Site with a definition of the topic or subject that I am addressing, and this month’s article will not deviate from that practice.  Finance is defined by Webster’s New World Dictionary as being “the science of managing money”.  And, Financial Planner is defined by Wikipedia as “a practicing professional who helps people deal with various personal financial issues through proper planning, which includes but is not limited to these major areas: cash flow management, education planning, estate planning, investment planning, risk management and insurance planning, tax planning, estate planning and business succession planning (for business owners).  The work engaged in by this professional is commonly known as personal financial planning.  In carrying out the planning function, he or she is guided by the financial planning process to create a financial plan – a detailed strategy tailored to a client’s specific situation, for meeting a client’s specific goals.”… View Full Article → “The Importance of Financial Planners for Clients Facing Divorce or Dissolution”

Consider the Impact of Divorce on Your Adult Children

It’s a misconception that when parents divorce it doesn’t affect adult children. It is important to remember that our children may be adults (and even may have experienced divorce themselves), but they are still children of both parents. In going through divorce, many parents “lean” on their children, making them into confidantes and, sometimes, surrogate spouses. Children, even adult children, are uncomfortable with details of their parents’ personal life. Confiding to a child about a parent’s indiscretions puts the child in a no-win situation. Many of the adult children I have spoken with say that they are shocked and angry by their parents’ behavior. But as the child, they continue to want the relationship. Giving adult children inappropriate information puts them in a quandary – how to have a relationship with a parent who may have behaved terribly in marriage without feeling disloyal to the other parent? Children are entitled to have a relationship with each parent that is not based on that parent’s performance as a spouse.… View Full Article → “Consider the Impact of Divorce on Your Adult Children”

Coping with Difficult Behavior

Throughout life, we sometimes encounter difficult people. We may argue with them, fall silent, comply or take distance. In a divorce, particularly an acrimonious one, difficult behaviors abound. No one is on their best behavior under this amount of stress. Figuring out how to cope with difficult behavior is a bit easier once you can identify why a person behaves in a certain way and what he/she hopes to accomplish. Here is a list of the most common behaviors that frustrate us all and suggestions for dealing with them:

The Bully – uses temper tantrums to overwhelm you; makes insulting and cutting remarks. Needs to feel superior and not lose control of the situation. Wants to get his/her own way.

*Stand up, listen, do not attack back, and take time-outs. Keep to the agenda.

The Complainer – gripes about everything incessantly. Needs to keep looking like a victim, does not take any responsibility, tries to bring others down to make her/himself look/feel better.… View Full Article → “Coping with Difficult Behavior”

How You Can Influence Your Own Happiness

Every Sunday I look forward to reading Dayton Psychologist, Gregory Ramey’s article in his Family Wise Column in the Dayton Daily News.  A few weeks ago, he wrote a very interesting piece about “the pursuit of happiness” but not from the legal perspective as contemplated by our forefather’s in the Declaration of Independence, but from a psychological viewpoint.

“Happiness” can no doubt be elusive and its meaning can be very different to each of us.  In some fashion or form, it is an issue that many clients either considering a divorce or having gone through a divorce must confront.  Genetics and life events are no doubt factors, but according to Dr. Ramey, each of us can take steps which will have a major impact on our own “happiness”.  I think that you might be a bit surprised by both his opinion and his candid common sense suggestions!

Happy People Enjoy an Upbeat Approach to Living

I really enjoyed watching Will Smith portray a determined dad in the “Pursuit of Happyness.”… View Full Article → “How You Can Influence Your Own Happiness”

Adjustment Tips: Do You Have a Child Living in Two Homes?

Through the divorce process, children deal with many changes. One of the most significant adjustments children have to make is living in two homes. Even if a child visits one parent for a few hours a week, the child should feel at home there. This helps foster connection with the non-custodial parent and helps the child to recognize that the non-custodial parent didn’t “divorce” him/her. Issues of abandonment and rejection are paramount for children of all ages, although the young ones can’t express it and the older ones either won’t or they “act out.” Creating a sense of belonging in both homes assists the child in making a healthy transition. Many children actually enjoy having two homes because they get special attention; often have two birthday parties and two sets of Christmas or Chanukah gifts.

Here are some tips to help children adjust:

  • The child should have her own room. If this isn’t possible, she should have her own space in a room – her own dresser drawer, a toy bin, some shelves.
… View Full Article → “Adjustment Tips: Do You Have a Child Living in Two Homes?”

In Camera Interviews of Children in Divorce Court

What is an in camera interview? The phrase “in camera” is a Latin term defined in Black’s Law Dictionary as: “In chambers; in private.”  The interview does not involve a camera or a videotape at all!  If a party is asking for the Court to have an in camera interview of a minor child, the request is for the Judge or Magistrate to interview the minor child privately with neither parent or his/her attorney being present.  An Appellate Court in Michigan said it very well years ago . . .

“A child custody determination is much more difficult and subtle than an arithmetical computation of factors.  It is one of the most demanding undertakings of a trial judge, one in which he must not only listen to what is said to him and observe all that happens before him, but a task requiring him to discern and feel the climate and chemistry of the relationships between children and parents.  … View Full Article → “In Camera Interviews of Children in Divorce Court”

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