Shocked at Your Partner’s Behavior During Divorce?

Frequently, a spouse is incredulous at their partner’s behavior during divorce. Why do we expect people to be on their best behavior during divorce? Does anyone actually behave better under stress? If you had a tendency to anxiety in your marriage, you are probably climbing the walls. If your spouse was controlling during the marriage, then s/he is probably exhibiting dictator-like characteristics. And if either of you had a tendency toward alcohol or drug abuse or domestic violence of any kind, then you can expect those frightening behaviors to escalate.

Divorce is not a catalyst for our finest behavior. During divorce, our negative traits are amplified as we become embroiled in a torrent of never ending finger-pointing and blame. Under stress, people do not communicate more effectively. Our foibles, weak spots, and least attractive characteristics often get called into play. How your partner reacted to adversity prior to the divorce gives you some fairly accurate clues as to how they will act during the divorce process.… View Full Article → “Shocked at Your Partner’s Behavior During Divorce?”

The Uncooperative Co-Parent From a Therapist’s Perspective

Co-parent issues in Divorce, Custody and Child Custody.

Important tips for when a co-parent becomes uncooperative

This is the first of two back-to-back articles on this subject.  The second one from the viewpoint of Dayton, Ohio, divorce lawyer Robert “Chip” Mues, will be posted here on Saturday March 3, 2012.

When you are going through a divorce, keeping your children’s well-being in the forefront of your mind is critical. Whether the children ultimately have an experience that is traumatic or manageable is a direct result of how well their parents’ behave. Some parents even stay together “for the sake of their children” but their behavior is so appalling that the kids beg their parents to split up. Whether you stay together or not, your children learn from and emulate your behavior. You are role models for healthy relationships.

Your commitment to protect your children from divorce acrimony is tested when you find yourself in the throes of splitting property and assets.… View Full Article → “The Uncooperative Co-Parent From a Therapist’s Perspective”

Parenting Time Suspension for Bad Behavior

Parenting Time Suspension can occur when a parent’s bad behavior gets in the way of the child’s best interest.

“Children must be considered in a divorce, considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue.” – P.J. O’Rourke

The truthfulness of O’Rourke’s statement cannot be more evident. Children going through a divorce are often caught in the middle of two parents at war. They can be fighting about money, parenting time, adultery committed, or even about why the toilet seat was once again left up. Although this fighting in and of itself can be a traumatic time for a child caught in the middle, the worst of the fighting results when a parent uses his or her children to hurt the other parent.

In a case in Montgomery County, Ohio, recently affirmed by the Second District Court of Appeals, the Court decided that it was time to show parents that bad behavior can result in a suspension of parenting time.… View Full Article → “Parenting Time Suspension for Bad Behavior”

The Pendulum of Divorce Discovery

No one wants to get divorced. We don’t walk down the aisle thinking, “Aw, what the hell, if this doesn’t work, I can always get a divorce.” You probably thought more along the lines of, “I don’t care how many people get divorced. This is not going to happen to us!” Yet here you are. It is awful and it hurts more than you could have ever imagined.

Divorce is a process, with many issues, facets, twists, and turns. Your emotional well being, along with your financial and legal assets, will all be called into play. Where you live, how you live, how you define yourself, and what you want from life are all going to be examined, evaluated, and possibly changed. As the process unfolds, the most important thing you can do is learn to pace yourself. You will learn many new things about life, finances, the legal system, your spouse, and mostly yourself.… View Full Article → “The Pendulum of Divorce Discovery”

Whose Kids Are These?

Even young children are aware that they are part of both parents. We tell them the story of our courtship, our wedding and of their birth. We show them baby pictures. “You have Daddy’s smile and you have Mommy’s eyes,” we tell them. This is one way children feel they are part of a family. It helps our children develop a sense of identity and belonging. As children grow older, we begin to identify more traits in them that remind us of ourselves. “You are artistic like your dad” or “you have your mom’s wit” are further ways we continue to build connection with our kids.

But when a marriage starts to deteriorate, parents sometimes focus only on the worst traits of their spouse and now flinch at any similarity they may see in their children. When anger and stress collide, parents find themselves comparing their children in a negative way to “you’re no good lazy cheating father” or “that crazy drunk of a mother.”… View Full Article → “Whose Kids Are These?”

The Lawyer You Choose May be More Important Than You Think…

This represents the third collaboration between Psychotherapist Donna F. Ferber, LPC, LADC, and myself. We both had remarked to the other about the important role that the therapist and attorney play in a divorce proceeding. Donna suggested that we both write about our perceptions on that subject. Instead of each of us writing about the merits of our own profession, we switched roles. I wrote about the importance of therapy during a divorce and Donna addressed considerations for picking a good divorce attorney. We hope this perspective provides the reader with additional information and insight regarding the need for professional support during this challenging and life-changing experience. Be sure to spend time exploring the excellent articles she has written. Her insights are terrific!  Donna, as in the past, the collaboration was a lot of fun!

Here is her article:

Most women take more time picking out a winter coat than a divorce attorney.… View Full Article → “The Lawyer You Choose May be More Important Than You Think…”

“Intextication”…The Dangers of Texting and Driving!

Driving these days can be very challenging. In addition, technological advances provide their own distractions, leaving drivers trying to split their attention between the road and the gadgets. Many experts believe that driving while texting, or “intextication”, is worse than driving drunk. In fact, studies show that 97.5% of people cannot drive safely while using cell phones. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) statistics show that roughly 16 people are killed every day in auto accidents involving a distracted driver, with over 1,300 more injured. In 2008, almost 6,000 people were killed and a half million more were injured by distracted drivers. It was a surprise to me to read a study this month that showed the American teenagers on average send 115 text messages per day. It is no wonder that authorities claim that the significant increases in texting volumes have resulted in thousands of additional road fatalities in the United States!… View Full Article → ““Intextication”…The Dangers of Texting and Driving!”

Page 2 of 8
1 2 3 4 5 6 … 8