Divorce Time Out: Take Your Emotional Pulse

Is Checking Your Emotional Pulse The Key To Dealing With Divorce?

“I am in the divorce process up to my elbows. I have paperwork for my lawyer, deadlines for my job, parent conferences for my kids, friends coming for dinner. I have a birthday party to plan, a lawn to mow, a dog with fleas. I haven’t slept more than five hours a night for months. My grey hairs are coming in with a vengeance and my skin is breaking out. Most of the food in my refrigerator looks like science experiments. I have no idea of world events, latest movies, or current songs. I have to get my kids to soccer practice, karate and guitar lessons. I have grocery shopping, vet appointments, orthodontics appointments, child therapy appointments, ob-gyn appointments. I have appointments with my lawyer, my accountant, my therapist. I have appointments with my children’s lawyers and therapists. I even have an appointment to sit down and talk with my soon to be ex- husband about vacation schedules!… View Full Article → “Divorce Time Out: Take Your Emotional Pulse”

Divorce Rates Double for Boomers

Longer Life Spans Factor Into Higher Divorce Rates

Divorce rates for the general population throughout the United States have stabilized over the past several decades.  However, that’s not true for baby boomers.  Divorce rates among couples over 50 have doubled over the last two decades according to a recent study by Bowling Green State University Professor Susan L. Brown.  In the 1990s, fewer than 1 in 10 people who divorced were 50 or older.  In 2009, that figure soared to 1 in 4.  Dr. Brown utilized data from the federal government’s 2009 American Community Survey.  She also looked at demographics and found the highest rates were among black couples and the lowest rates among white couples.  Older adults who divorced also tended to be less educated than those who remained married.

Dr. Brown identified a number of factors that might help explain the increase in the divorce rates among baby boomers including longer life spans.  … View Full Article → “Divorce Rates Double for Boomers”

INNOCENT SPOUSE AND IRS

INNOCENT SPOUSE AND IRS

INNOCENT SPOUSE: AN INTRODUCTION

Financial decisions in a marriage are not always a joint venture; wherein both Husband and Wife cooperate in the decision making. In the first few years of my own marriage, my Husband filed our taxes for us. I would check to ensure he put in all my information, but I never looked to see what numbers he was putting into his part of the tax return. Now that I am an attorney practicing in divorce, I know the detrimental effects that can occur in these situations.

Sometimes the spouse in charge of the finances may make misrepresentations to the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) or they may not file a tax return at all. Even though only one spouse may be in charge of the finances, both Husband and Wife will be jointly and severally liable for any unpaid taxes, fees, interest, and penalties, even if you are the innocent spouse.… View Full Article → “INNOCENT SPOUSE AND IRS”

Marriage: Better the Second Time Around?

Marriage: Better the Second Time Around?

Is Marriage Better the Second Time Around? Or, Are Second Marriages More Successful than First Marriages?

Many years ago, a singing icon and legend, Frank Sinatra, released a song entitled “The Second Time Around”…..its words begin as follows—“Love is lovelier the second time around; Just as wonderful with both feet on the ground; It’s that second time you hear your love song sung……..Makes you think perhaps that love, like you, is wasted on the young”…he goes on to praise the greatness of second-time relationships. But, what are the facts about second marriages?  Do they fare well or do they fare poorly?

On September 15, 2011, Lisa Helfend Meyer posted an article entitled, “Second Marriage for Better or Worse”. The author and family law attorney stated that while 41 percent of first marriages end in divorce, the failure rate is even higher for second marriages with 60 percent ending in divorce.… View Full Article → “Marriage: Better the Second Time Around?”

Shocked at Your Partner’s Behavior During Divorce?

Frequently, a spouse is incredulous at their partner’s behavior during divorce. Why do we expect people to be on their best behavior during divorce? Does anyone actually behave better under stress? If you had a tendency to anxiety in your marriage, you are probably climbing the walls. If your spouse was controlling during the marriage, then s/he is probably exhibiting dictator-like characteristics. And if either of you had a tendency toward alcohol or drug abuse or domestic violence of any kind, then you can expect those frightening behaviors to escalate.

Divorce is not a catalyst for our finest behavior. During divorce, our negative traits are amplified as we become embroiled in a torrent of never ending finger-pointing and blame. Under stress, people do not communicate more effectively. Our foibles, weak spots, and least attractive characteristics often get called into play. How your partner reacted to adversity prior to the divorce gives you some fairly accurate clues as to how they will act during the divorce process.… View Full Article → “Shocked at Your Partner’s Behavior During Divorce?”

Palimony Not Recognized in Ohio

Palimony Not Recognized in Ohio – Resuming a Romantic Relationship is Insufficient to Establish a Contract

PALIMONY DEFINED

Palimony is a form of alimony awarded to one of the unmarried partners in a romantic relationship after the breakup of that relationship following a long period of living together. Unlike alimony which is typically provided for by law, palimony is not guaranteed to unmarried partners.  Generally, a palimony plaintiff must prove an underlying contractual basis for his/her claim, such as an express (written or oral) or implied contract.  My research shows that approximately 23 states have enforced a cohabitation agreement, either express or implied.

Palimony cases are determined in civil court as a contract matter, rather than in family court, as are divorce cases. The “palimony” phrase was coined by celebrity divorce attorney, Marvin Mitchelson, back in 1977 when his client Michelle Triola Marvin filed an unsuccessful suit against the actor Lee Marvin. … View Full Article → “Palimony Not Recognized in Ohio”

Parallel Parenting: When You and Your Ex Can’t Play Nice

How Parallel Parenting is a viable alternative to banging your head against the wall

The continued post-divorce acrimony that plays out in the arena of parenting is the probably the most aggravating and stressful part of divorce for all involved. Parents struggle with a sense of wanting to make this transition easy for their children but when left over marital issues continue to play out in the co parenting arena, the adults often throw up their hands in frustration. The continued conflict is worrisome as it is the fighting, not marital status, that hurts the kids.

So, here you are embroiled in a constant struggle of trying to play “nice.” Ideally we would all like co-parenting to be like silly sit-coms with mad-cap situations leading to easy going resolution. The parenting books tell us how it “should” go, but is it too idealistic to believe this is possible all, or even most, of the time?… View Full Article → “Parallel Parenting: When You and Your Ex Can’t Play Nice”

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