Stress of War Shatters More Marriages

The Pentagon reported the divorce rate among military members increased again in the past year and is now a full percentage point higher than it was around the time of the September 11, 2001, attacks.  According to their figures, the divorce rate of about 3.6 percent for fiscal year 2009 increased from the reported 2001 rate of 2.6 percent.  Women in uniform continued to have a much higher divorce rate than their male counterparts – 7.7% in 2009 compared with only 3% for men.  Air Force Maj. April Cunningham, a Defense Department spokeswoman, said the latest year-to-year change was relatively small because the services have made available programs focused on strengthening and enriching family bonds among couples.  “We believe these programs are instrumental in mitigating the stresses deployment places on marriages,” said Cunningham.

The actual data for the Afghanistan study indicated that the Army is trying to increase the number of mental health providers for the 68,000 US troops having problems such as acute stress, depression, and anxiety from the current number of 43 to roughly 103.  … View Full Article → “Stress of War Shatters More Marriages”

Looking to Build a Stronger Relationship?

Unlike many family law blogs which just share divorce information, we take a much broader view of “family law” and try to provide positive helpful information to readers about ways to help keep marriages together.  Clearly, marriage is an important public and social good, associated with a broad array of positive outcomes for adults, children, and the community as a whole. Divorce proceedings should never be initiated lightly! All relationships have “ups and downs” that can sometimes be very difficult to navigate.

Marriage Works! Ohio offers an extensive range of programs and services throughout Shelby, Miami, Montgomery, Greene, Butler and Warren counties. This collaborative effort of faith-based and community organizations, including Elizabeth’s New Life Center, has been operating for 3 years.  Recently, it was recognized by the Department of Health and Human Services as one of the 8 most promising programs for marriage education in the country! Their mission is to demonstrate ways to increase knowledge of basic relationship skills, communication skills, commitment to the relationship, and positive conflict resolution among adults and teenagers.  … View Full Article → “Looking to Build a Stronger Relationship?”

Your Thanksgiving Doesn’t have to be a Turkey!

Karen Armstrong, a human development extension agent with North Dakota State University, posted an excellent Thanksgiving piece two years ago. Her suggestions and insights bear repeating. Plus, I liked her Thanksgiving Quiz!  She was kind enough to allow me to republish it.

The holiday season can be stressful enough on its own. Families who have changed the make up of their household because of divorce or marriage since last year have some new challenges. If this describes your family, watch your children for signs of stress this season. Often times the shopping and decorating is too much for them. Encourage your children to talk about what they are feeling and keep those lines of communication open so they can approach you when they need to.

Because of the holidays, you may feel that you and your children are supposed to be happy, but allow time to deal with the adjustments. For example, it’s normal and healthy for children to miss the other parent; acknowledge their feelings and let them know it’s okay.… View Full Article → “Your Thanksgiving Doesn’t have to be a Turkey!”

Planning Parenting Time for the Holidays – Tips to Follow

As we are now into the month of November, it is not too early for divorced and divorcing parents to look ahead to the upcoming Christmas Holiday.  Here are some “tips” regarding the “nuts and bolts” of handling the Christmas holiday season.

  1. Read and examine the Parenting Time Schedule for your particular County which should be attached as part of your Final Decree or Court Judgment.  The Domestic Relations Court and Juvenile Court of each County have differing schedules. If your parenting time schedule has been lost or misplaced, you can obtain a replacement from your attorney’s office or the clerk where your order was filed.For example, Montgomery County, Ohio, has the following provision as to the Christmas Break:

    In all even-numbered years, the Mother shall have the children from 9:00 a.m. the day after school recesses (or 9:00 a.m. on December 20 if the children are not in school), until 9:00 p.m.

… View Full Article → “Planning Parenting Time for the Holidays – Tips to Follow”

Online Assessment Tools – Do You Think You Might Have a Problem?

Here is a list of links to various online assessment tools that might be valuable for those interested in learning where they might score in areas that can frequently impact a marriage. Originally, I just intended to post an online depression assessment tool since many people going through a divorce suffer from some degree of depression. But once I started on the project, as you can see, the list kept growing. Here they all are:

  • Depression Screening Test
  • Inventory of Depressive Symptomatology
  • Anger Management Test
  • Arguing Style Test
  • Domestic Violence Screening Test
  • Woman Abuse Screening Test (WAST)
  • Battered Woman Test
  • Alcoholism Test
  • Drug Abuse Screening Test
  • Cocaine Addiction Test
  • Marijuana Addiction Test<
  • Internet Addiction Test
  • Cybersex Addiction Test
  • Sexual Addiction Test (SAST)
  • Pornography Compulsion Test
  • Gambling Addiction Test
  • Food Addiction Test
  • Compulsive Shopper Test
  • Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder Test
  • Mood Disorder Test
  • Social Anxiety/Phobia Test
  • Stress Test
  • Workaholic Test

Additionally, if these assessment tools are not what you are looking for, consider checking out my previous post, “Divorce Calculator – We have an App for That.”… View Full Article → “Online Assessment Tools – Do You Think You Might Have a Problem?”

Parental Abduction: Prevention and Remedies

Our guest contributor this week is Judianne Cochran a nationally recognized expert/consultant in the following disciplines: sex offender profiling; interstate and international parental abduction; interstate custody and parental alienation. She has testified in numerous Courts throughout Ohio and the country. Judi presently resides in Columbus, Ohio.

Recently, there has been a flurry of news reports and discussions regarding cases where an abduction has already occurred and a child has been taken and retained in a foreign jurisdiction.  The most recent is a case where a father attempted a “snatch-back” in Japan.  As is usually the case, this self-help method does not result in the recovery of a child.  Unfortunately, in both that case and in the Goldman case where the child is in Brazil, it appears that nothing was done in the way of prevention before the loss of the child.

There are many measures which can be put into place to aid in the prevention of an international abduction.  … View Full Article → “Parental Abduction: Prevention and Remedies”

U.S. Father Arrested In Japan For Picking Up Children “Abducted” By Ex-Wife…..The “Rest Of The Story”!

Christopher Savoie (“Father”) was arrested in Japan on September 28, 2009, for trying to take his two (2) children, Isaac Savoie, eight (8) years of age, and Rebecca Savoie, six (6) years of age, away from their Mother, Noriko Savoie, while she was walking the children to school.  Father forcibly placed the two children into his car and drove towards the U.S. Embassy or Consulate Office in Fukuoka, Japan. His goal was to get the children into the U.S. Consulate Office in order to obtain passports for the children so that he could return them to the United States.

His plan failed as he was apprehended by the police before he could reach the Consulate Office.   His pleas to the police in Mother’s home city in Japan that he was the “custodial” parent and that she was the parent who abducted the children from the United States were ignored by the arresting officers and the subsequent judicial officers.  … View Full Article → “U.S. Father Arrested In Japan For Picking Up Children “Abducted” By Ex-Wife…..The “Rest Of The Story”!”

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