Minimalization: How We Accept the Unacceptable

By Guest Contributor Donna F. Ferber, LPC, LADC   |   September 15th, 2012

Minimalization: Accepting the Unacceptable

Minimalization: A Case Study of Jane

Jane was married for twenty five years. Her husband filed for divorce, and Jane struggled to understand what happened. “Disappointed,” was Jane’s response when I queried as to how she felt. Over and over she spoke of her disappointment.

Jane was diagnosed with depression during the marriage. She shut down emotionally. She was not accessible to her husband or children. I asked her if she was happy in the marriage. “Not really, but life is hard.” Her husband, a dominant, verbose guy, didn’t like to hear Jane’s complaints, so after a while she learned to keep them to herself. She tried to minimize them, (“This is not that important”) or rationalize them (“He really didn’t mean that”). Years of minimizing her own pain and trying to hold it in turned into depression for Jane. She wasn’t just disappointed. She was really, really angry.… View Full Article → “Minimalization: How We Accept the Unacceptable”

Divorce: Did Your Parents Marriage End When You Were 23 or Older?

By Robert "Chip" Mues   |   September 8th, 2012

Share Your Responses to This Important Divorce Research Survey!

Mary Murphy is a licensed clinical social worker and a doctoral candidate in counseling psychology from Oregon. I learned about Mary’s research project and survey from reading an article about it posted by Connecticut psychotherapist Donna Ferber. I have enjoyed collaborating in the past with Donna on a number of diverse topics. In Donna’s words, “Ms. Murphy’s work is of great value as she is looking to gather data from an often overlooked population. The effects of divorce on adult children are often minimized and her research helps shed a light on this issue.”

Here is Mary’s own introduction to her survey and research project:

Assumptions, Adult Children, and Divorce

Articles and books on divorce are replete with studies and discussions about the impact of divorce on children. That is, young and adolescent children. But what about the adult children? There is an emerging focus on considerations relevant to children who are adults when their parents divorce after decades of marriage.… View Full Article → “Divorce: Did Your Parents Marriage End When You Were 23 or Older?”

Deposition Tips: Not Just An Ordinary Conversation!

By Mark Segreti   |   September 1st, 2012

Helpful Advice If You Are Called To Provide Testimony At A Deposition

In any type of civil litigation, whether a personal injury case, a probate court case involving a relative’s will or trust, a business dispute with customers or other owners, or a matrimonial case, a party or an important observer may be called to provide testimony at a deposition. A deposition is being questioned under oath often by the opposing attorney, outside court, usually in a law office or a court stenographer’s office. The judge is not present although she is usually accessible by telephone. The deposition is conducted by the lawyers and the court reporter who transcribes all questions, answers, and legal objections. In many cases the lawyers’ perceptions of how this deposition testimony will impact the judge or jury determines whether the case goes to trial or serious settlement discussions occur.

In preparing to give testimony under oath at a deposition it is very important to review the issues and likely questions with your attorney in advance.… View Full Article → “Deposition Tips: Not Just An Ordinary Conversation!”

Bankruptcy Reflections by Several Recent Divorcés

By Anne Shale   |   August 25th, 2012

What You Need To Know Before Filing For A Personal Bankruptcy Action

Since the beginning of the recent housing crisis, I have had the experience of working with clients who have fallen behind with mortgage payments which resulted in the mortgage lender filing a foreclosure action with the Court.  This course of events often leads to the filing of a personal bankruptcy action to discharge the mortgage indebtedness.  In order to get the information to write this article, I chose to interview my son, who will be known as CS, and a divorce client, who will be known as RP.  CS and RP have some commonalities:  (1) both had experienced a divorce proceeding; (2) both had experienced a decline in the value of their homes causing them to be “upside down”; and, (3) both of them had support obligations (child support or spousal support) resulting in each having less disposable income with which to pay their monthly mortgage payments.   … View Full Article → “Bankruptcy Reflections by Several Recent Divorcés”

Spousal Support: Hidden Time Bomb!

By Robert "Chip" Mues   |   August 18th, 2012

Avoid Future Problems, Consult With An Attorney To Avoid Modification Of Spousal Support By The Courts.

Since divorce attorneys, like the rest of the population, do not have a crystal ball, making decisions regarding whether spousal support should be modifiable in the future are difficult.  This is a very crucial area where individuals trying to navigate through a termination of their marriage without an attorney can run into huge problems.

In Ohio, the Court does not automatically retain jurisdiction to modify spousal support in the future.  Instead, the Court’s future jurisdiction to reduce, modify or terminate future spousal support is controlled by the explicit language contained in the Final Decree of Dissolution or Divorce.  The drafting of that language, therefore, is critically important.  Of course, whether you are the payor or the recipient can have a dramatic effect on how you want that provision written.

Options to consider include the following:

  1. The Court retains no continuing jurisdiction to modify spousal support in the future.
… View Full Article → “Spousal Support: Hidden Time Bomb!”

Care Insurance: Long-Term Health Care Update

By Joseph E. Balmer   |   August 11th, 2012

How Ohio’s Long-Term Care Insurance Program Can Make Sense For You!

It is now almost 5 years since Ohio’s long-term care partnership program was implemented in order to allow Medicaid participants to protect more of their assets from the Medicaid spend down process.  With the rising cost of long-term care and the effect that the recession has had on most individual’s savings, this program is more valuable than ever.  A long-term health care insurance policy that meets certain criteria can provide tremendous savings and asset protection against future health care needs by allowing an individual to shelter an amount of assets equal to the amount of coverage under the policy.

Once again, the policy must meet the following criteria:

  1. Must be issued after September 10,2007;
  2. The insured must be a resident of Ohio when coverage first becomes effective;
  3. The policy must be a federally tax qualified plan based on IRS Code;
  4. The policy must meet strict consumer protection standards; and
  5. The policy must include certain protections against inflations.
… View Full Article → “Care Insurance: Long-Term Health Care Update”

School Resumes, How To Start The School Year Off Well!

By Robert "Chip" Mues   |   August 4th, 2012

Tips to help your children prepare for the challenges of a new school year

The lazy, hazy days of summer are coming to an end, as a new school year is quickly approaching. My wife, a school teacher of 30 plus years, suggested that we post an article about this topic of starting the school year well.  So with her help, here it is.

Although they may protest, most children like the routine that school brings, and they are ready to get back into the swing of the school year. The new school year is exciting because students get the opportunity to have a fresh start. However it can also be a time of anxiousness when kids worry about things such as will I like my new teacher or will my friends be in my class? It can also be nerve racking for those who are going from elementary to middle school, or middle school to high school, or for those who are moving to a new school district.… View Full Article → “School Resumes, How To Start The School Year Off Well!”

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