10 Tips to Ruin Your Divorce Case and Waste as Much Money as Possible!

Attorney Diana Mercer sent me these tips in her newsletter on January 19, 2011. Her points are excellent and certainly worth repeating. They really made me chuckle because they are spot on! I have also had an opportunity to read the recent book she co-authored with Kate Jane Wennechuk titled Making Divorce Work: 8 Essential Keys in Resolving Conflicts and Rebuilding your Life, available on Amazon. It is excellent! I whole-heartedly recommend it! To learn more about the book, please take a look at the video about it which I have attached at the end of the article. Thanks Diana for your attempts to bring sanity to the chaos of divorce…

Tip # 1

Organize nothing. Either bring none of your financial records or requested documents to your attorney’s office or court hearing, or bring all your financial records in a paper sack overflowing with miscellaneous papers.

Take no responsibility for any aspect of your case.… View Full Article → “10 Tips to Ruin Your Divorce Case and Waste as Much Money as Possible!”

Bringing Laughter Back Into Your Life

Joel Goodman of the Humor Project in Saratoga Springs, New York, says, “Humor is what lubricates life.” Humor can help you deal with all the stressors in your life. Humor cannot erase the situation, but it can take the sting out of many things, thus reducing their negative impact. In order for humor to be curative in your life, you need to find your own laugh button. Remember, divorce is one part of your life, don’t make it your whole life!

Jennie remarked recently how surprised she was that she could still feel joy taking a walk on a beautiful autumn morning, even though she felt devastated by her divorce. Nurture those feelings of joy, laughter, and wonder. Laughter is not just a luxury; it is a vital piece in the healing process. It is especially important during times of stress. It provides our body, heart, and mind with a welcome and necessary reprieve.… View Full Article → “Bringing Laughter Back Into Your Life”

Single not Sad on New Year’s Eve

Many of us actually prefer to stay home on New Year’s Eve or spend the night with friends rather than get all dressed up to trudge through snowy, icy weather, only to eat and drink too much! Yet, the fantasy of this night still seems to hold many captive. The notion of “being alone” on New Year’s Eve makes an otherwise strong, capable, independent adult feel like a gawky 13-year-old wallflower! How is it that one can be spending New Year’s Eve with friends, family, and children, but without a date, will say, “I am alone”?

It is time to shake off those old myths about New Year’s Eve! Not having a “date” on New Year’s Eve is not an indication of social incompetence; it is simply a change. If this is your first New Year’s Eve without your spouse, then this is your first New Year’s Eve as a single person.… View Full Article → “Single not Sad on New Year’s Eve”

What to Bring to Your First Meeting with a Divorce Attorney

Obtaining a divorce or dissolution is a process which often needs to be broken down into stages. Once you have reached the stage when you know that the marriage is “over”, you will need to then start the process of finding a divorce lawyer. Don’t overlook the importance of this step! There are a lot of divorce lawyers out there and finding the “right” one for you can be critically important. To read our suggestions about that subject click here to read the first part of our article about how to select a divorce lawyer and click here to read the conclusion of that article.

It is always a good idea to interview several lawyers. So, once you have the appointment scheduled, what should you consider bringing? Being prepared for that initial conference is important. Recognize that you may be nervous or emotional, so having a list of all your assets, liabilities and questions is a must.… View Full Article → “What to Bring to Your First Meeting with a Divorce Attorney”

Demeanor and Behavior in Court

Last December, I posted an article entitled “How to Dress for Court – Do’s and Don’ts“.  Today, my article will focus upon proper demeanor and behavior at court appearances.  I will first discuss the basic “To Do List”!

The “To Do’s”

  • It is imperative to be on time!  If the hearing is scheduled to take place at 9:00 a.m. you should be present to meet with your attorney at least fifteen minutes early. If you don’t know where you will be going, it might be a good idea to make a “trial run” beforehand.  Just don’t be late…it is not excusable by the Court for a party to be “tardy” for a hearing before the Court.
  • If you have babies, toddlers, or young children, please find a babysitter or day care center to provide for their care.  Our Courts can be crowded and the waiting areas and Courtrooms are not comfortable or conducive places for having young children.
… View Full Article → “Demeanor and Behavior in Court”

Divorcing the Abuser

The single most dangerous element in living with an abusive man is your denial of the problem. More women are killed by their domestic partners than by the hands of strangers. If your spouse has shown any of the signs or symptoms of being abusive, it is extremely important that you get help. Depending upon the situation, help comes in all forms from seeking counseling to calling the police. The way to find out what intervention is most appropriate for your situation is to call the women’s shelters in your area. Even if you do not need “shelter” in a physical sense, the shelters can provide you with invaluable information anonymously and for free! If you do not have a shelter in your area, chances are the closest big city will have one. All of the shelters have toll-free lines, so it doesn’t matter which one you call. All calls are kept anonymous for your safety.… View Full Article → “Divorcing the Abuser”

Don’t Create Halloween Horrors for your Child!

For many kids, Halloween is one of the most important holidays of the year. The child of divorce is faced with choices and concerns. Who will take me treat-or-treating? Who will get my costume and dress me? Where will I trick-or-treat?

Then, of course, there logistical problems for the divorced parents. By addressing these issues in advance, parents can reduce stress and not distract from the child’s positive experience. These include:

  • In two-parent homes, often one parent gives out candy while the other parent takes the child trick-or-treating. Now there is only one parent in the home. Do you stay and give out candy or do you go with your child?
  • Parents often do not specify in their divorce decree who “gets” the child on October 31. If it falls on a visitation day, some children feel disappointed that they don’t get to trick-or-treat in their own neighborhood with their friends.
… View Full Article → “Don’t Create Halloween Horrors for your Child!”
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