The Red Ones Are the Best!!!

It seemed appropriate that I should write something for the blog geared towards the “Birthday of America”. In the past, I liked to reflect upon the holidays and tried to find some correlation between the specific holiday and my family-law practice. Not always an easy task without becoming repetitive in discussing how to celebrate the day in the aftermath of a traumatic divorce.  So, as I pondered possible themes, I considered offering a bit of a twist on “Independence Day”. Or, perhaps, writing a patriotic post about America and the importance of family values.  In the end, I decided to go in a different direction.

As I think about this holiday, it brings back many fabulous memories. As a child, it was in my top two or three yearly holidays. I loved that it was the official start of summer and school was over. Warm weather was here and a family vacation was near.… View Full Article → “The Red Ones Are the Best!!!”

Preventing a Parentectomy After Divorce

One of the most interesting and well written pieces that I have read in a long time is a keynote address presented by Dr. Frank S. Williams to the National Council for Children’s Rights in Washington D.C. on October 20, 1990. Dr. Williams is a noted child psychiatrist and the Director of Family and Child Psychiatry at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. While this presentation was almost 19 years ago, Dr. Williams’ sage advice is no less relevant now than it ever was!

During my 31-year law career, I have focused a large part of my efforts both professionally and as a member of various community organizations and non-profit Boards towards diverse child-welfare related causes. So with that stated background, I whole-heartedly encourage everyone to read Dr. Williams’ presentation in full, by clicking here.

I will attempt to capsulate some of the salient points as well as set forth the six (6) recommendations he made based on his extensive clinical experience to prevent parentectomies.… View Full Article → “Preventing a Parentectomy After Divorce”

Kids Say That Divorced Parents Should Pay The Same Amount For Child Support

I came across an interesting survey last month in the Gordon Poll Youth Survey published by the Wilmington Institute Network. Dr. Robert Gordon is the founder and director of the Wilmington Institute of Trial and Settlement Sciences. He is a past president of the Texas Psychological Association and is author of “On the Witness Stand.” He is both a clinical psychologist and a lawyer. The work of Dr. Gordon and the institute team has been featured on the MacNeil-Lehrer News Hour, ABC, Nightline, CNN, Fox News, Larry King Live, Good Morning America and USA Today.

The Gordon Poll Youth Survey focuses on family life issues. It is conducted for the benefit of parents, educators and members of the legal and mental health professions. The May 2009 survey was compiled from a sample size of 1,000 children between ages 14-18, and they are from a self-selected national sample that includes all 50 states.… View Full Article → “Kids Say That Divorced Parents Should Pay The Same Amount For Child Support”

Children’s Extracurricular Activities A Delicate Balancing Act Post Divorce

In the second of a two-part series, attorney Robert Mues discusses the impact that a divorce may have on juggling a child’s activities and parenting time.

A recurring battle that I see in my family law practice is how to juggle a child’s extracurricular activities after a divorce.  There is no black and white answer, of course, to this question.  In many cases where there is shared parenting or both mother and father continue to communicate with each other and place the child’s best interest in perspective, both parents will attend the child’s after-school activities and will seamlessly foster the child’s continued participation in the activities no matter which home the child may be residing in.  However, in a large number of post-divorce situations, especially in high conflict cases or where the parties do not live in close proximity with one another, continuation of extracurricular activities can present a major problem.… View Full Article → “Children’s Extracurricular Activities A Delicate Balancing Act Post Divorce”

Children’s Extracurricular Activities Appropriate Or Excessive?

This is the first of a two-part series dealing with children’s extracurricular activities. Next week, I will address the impact the divorce may take on a child’s extracurricular activity schedule when the parents have conflicts with each other.

There is no doubt that extracurricular activities can be very beneficial to a child. According to a recent study by the Nellie Mae Education Foundation, children who participate in after-school programs are more engaged and have a better attitude about learning, perform better academically and enjoy an increased sense of accomplishment, competence and self-esteem. Additionally, participation also lowers children’s risk of becoming depressed, using drugs and alcohol, and experiencing other behavioral problems.

Recently, while researching this topic, I came across an excellent article about how to choose after-school activity(ies) for children at www.scholastic.com. It also gives a breakdown discussing appropriate types and numbers of activities per week which are recommended based on the age and maturity of the child starting with kindergarten through middle school.… View Full Article → “Children’s Extracurricular Activities Appropriate Or Excessive?”

Moms, Stepmothers and Grandmothers, Please Take a Bow!

NOTE: Due to its timeless nature, this article from the Ohio Family Law Blog is being republished from May 10, 2008.

Naturally Mother’s Day is a special day for families and especially for mothers. In this day and age however, there are often multiple females who may play a key role in a child’s life. Stepmothers and grandmothers raising their grandchildren as their own are now quite the norm. These women need to be recognized on Mother’s Day.

Stepmothers are often portrayed in a negative light. It is important to look at all sides, as a step mom often has to walk the tight rope. She has to carefully navigate the road so that she is an integral part of her new child or children’s lives, while still respecting the child’s need to honor and love their own mother. Grandmothers raising grandchildren as their own child has been an increasing occurrence in our society.… View Full Article → “Moms, Stepmothers and Grandmothers, Please Take a Bow!”

Divorce Calculator—We have an App for That!

Recently, while doing some research for another blog article, I came across a “divorce calculator” posted on the divorce360.com website. With their permission, I have added it to this article below. The calculator is intended for first marriages only. The calculator works by comparing peoples’ backgrounds to yours. You and your spouse might well end up with two different calculation percentages because each of you comes from different backgrounds. The website advises that the best way then to determine your risk for divorce as a couple is to average the two percentages together. The statistical information they use comes from “historical data based on information given by real people and collected as part of the U.S. Census”. Click here to read more about the calculator.

I am, of course, not in a position to comment on the accuracy of the calculations. There are, of course, many other important factors which are not taken into consideration by the calculator which could alter the percentages considerably.… View Full Article → “Divorce Calculator—We have an App for That!”

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