The 3 C’s of Divorce: What They Are and How They Can Help You Uncouple Peacefully!

How the 3 C’s of Divorce Can Help You Uncouple Peacefully

It is no secret that divorce tends to be a highly stressful process. Following the 3 C’s of Divorce can make the process less stressful, less costly, and may even speed up the process.

1. Communication: A Core Principle of the 3 C’s of Divorce

Communication skills often impact one’s ability to negotiate. In her article, Rebecca Todd shares that “understanding how we communicate and what impact that can have on how we negotiate can help us to be better negotiators with better outcomes”. Negotiation is a critical skill in any collaborative divorce settlement, since an agreement will need to be filed with the court when the divorce is finalized.

Poor communication also tends to lead to conflict and confusion. When parties are straightforward it is easier to understand each other’s goals and priorities. It is important to note that a divorce with more conflict tends to be more expensive and lengthy than a divorce where parties communicate well with one another and their attorney.

Setting the tone of good communication is especially helpful when parties will be sharing custody of children or animals. Think about it – being transparent about parenting responsibilities now helps to avoid misunderstanding, and ultimately conflict, about responsibilities in the future.

TIPS:

• Listen to the other party with the intent to understand and find solutions, not with the intent to criticize.
• If you find it difficult to speak kindly or in a professional tone, communicating through emails as if you are reaching out to a college about an issue can be beneficial.
• It may also be helpful to write out your key points for a conversation before it occurs, so that when emotion comes in you can go back to the facts at issue.

2. Co-operation

Both parties tend to have a common goal: to separate and split assets. For couples with kids, parties also have a common goal of making decisions that are in the best interests of their child(ren). The process of divorce can be much smoother when parties work together to achieve these common goals.

Many cases that lack cooperation are drawn out, racking up billable hours because parties are unwilling to share documents, respond to emails, etc. In some cases, the concealment or nondisclosure of information results in a greater award of marital property to the offended spouse. Cooperation is also a factor that courts consider when allocating parenting time to a party.

TIPS:

• Identify what might get in the way of cooperation- distrust? Anger? Fear?
• Focus on common goals instead of differences and emotions.

3. Compromise

TV and popular culture tend to highlight how there is a clear “winner” and “loser” in every court battle. Let’s be honest – divorce requires compromise by both parties. In fact, it is a standard in divorce law that assets must be divided equitably, or even-handedly.

Either the court will divide things up, or the parties can come to an agreement long beforehand. The last thing you want is a busy Judge to split things up. I guarantee both sides will ne unhappy with that situation! You can save time and money by being willing to compromise about assets and parenting time prior to a final hearing with the court.

TIPS:

• Be willing to listen to the other party’s desires as much as you want them to listen to yours.
• Create a list: What is your #1 priority? What are you willing to give up to achieve this? If you accomplished numerous other things on your list, could you be flexible on your #1 priority?

4. Are There Only 3 C’s of Divorce?

Some argue that there is a 4th C of Divorce: Clarity. Ready Divorce Service interestingly points out that clarity helps to reduce conflict and protect your interests. Specifically, “clarity means having a clear understanding of your rights, obligations, goals, and the legal process”. An experienced lawyer can ensure clarity throughout your divorce or separation.

MuesLaw Provides Experienced, Trusted and Professional Advice if You Are Considering Ending Your Marriage.

An experienced attorney can help you apply the 3 C’s of Divorce to protect your interests and move forward peacefully. MuesLaw can assist you with your divorce, dissolution and parenting/custody related issues. To learn more, please go to our website at mueslaw.com or call us at (937) 293-2141. We can schedule an in-person conference or one by phone or Zoom. We look forward to assisting you!

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PUBLISHER’S NOTE:

I want to thank Rachel Recker for helping draft this blog article. She had recently clerked for MuesLaw and is now an Associate with Emily Feliz Garcia’s law firm in Springdale, Ohio. Thanks again Rachel and we miss you!

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